15 September 2008

My muse returns

I don't like feeling this way. Sometimes events, people, and attitudes just start building up, accumulating to the point I can't take it anymore. But the negative side of me provokes me to allow it to build up, because letting it out could potentially cause more pain than keeping it in. Because sometimes I doubt some folk really care how I feel, or can't even tell when I have been hurt.

I don't like confrontation, but I desire to pride myself in not being afraid of it. But I can't. Because I think it could make it worse.

So instead I need to let it go. Maybe it will go away. But many months later, it still hasn't.

08 September 2008

Just a Note

I indeed did say I was going to try to keep up better with my blog here, but I keep forgetting to take pictures of my work and such. Today I decided on one "secret" project to change exactly what it was and use one pattern and make it bigger. So far, okay, but I think I've goofed up a bit in the 3rd row of pattern... which can just prove irritating... need better light to fix the problem than is provided by my apartment (usually... I can have more light, but it glares through my tv and we can't have this when I want to see the next part of the story in Philip's game).

I started a twitter, but I think I'm going to have that stuff ported to my LJ... other than that... nothing too much new other than finally got the air filter changed in my apartment and I'm going to be swamped tomorrow at work.

05 September 2008

Time to get back in the groove...

Of blogging that is. I probably should try to allot time each day to blog something about what's going on so I remember I have a blog (and a livejournal, and myspace, and facebook (which miraculously I can never forget I have because "PuzzleBee" is bloody addictive)).

Since I got engaged back in July, I have been doing quite a bit of brainstorming for my wedding, only the only work I have actually completed has been the purchase/order of wedding gown and bridesmaid dresses. I started two knitting projects, a garter and a veil (pictures will be in a future blog) for it which are both 90% complete. All I have left is final rows on veil and binding the loose ends together, blocking, and various other needed stuff. I've done a lot of searching things online and came with the only church that I could find to actually have stuff about getting married there on line is Manassas Baptist. Back in the day I did hang out with some of the youth group folks there (when I was that young... yes it's possible), but I never really had a good experience with those folks. Thankfully I don't think I have to worry about that anymore, but I have to wait til October (6 months away from April 4th, the date I want) in order to see about reserving it. I still need to call my pastor (C.J. Benner) to see if that date works for him and if there is a way that I can have Philip meet him and say yes to the prospect of him marrying us. If you're wondering, Philip hasn't said outright no to any of these ideas I am mentioning... in fact he's okay with the date, doesn't seem to care about the other two... but most of all, he's kind of more focused on getting school stuff done, and is not usually in the mood to discuss wedding planning.

I'm thinking I would prefer to go with some local companies when it comes to flowers, invitations and some other things. Philip and I like to support local businesses whenever we can (yeah, this involves me with local yarn shops and splurging too much, but lets not get into that.)

Speaking of shopping, I'm trying to do a moratorium on buying a lot of new things like I have been. No yarn shopping for a while for me (unless it's necessary for gifts and the like) and cut down a lot on my manga buying. I have a lot of money on my two wachovia cards I want to trim down into no debt on before I get married. Unfortunately, the easiest way for me not to spend money on those two cards was me getting a new one to use for gas, groceries and other essentials. I've already broken some of this not wanting to spend alot because of DVDs I needed (well, really really wanted) and probably because there is a manga sale at Borders... oh well.

Anyways, that is all to sum up for now... I probably should get back to my desk to look like I'm doing some work and/or finish the veil knitting. So very close!

04 September 2008

10 Random Things

First - oops, forgot about my blog. I will try to get back in the habit and posting. Have a bunch of rambles and knitting I can show off too! And now for the substance of my silly post.

Once you have been tagged, you have to write a blog with 10 random things, facts, goals, or habits about yourself. At the end, choose 10 people to be tagged, listing their names. You can't tag a person who has tagged you.

1) I've always wanted to write and publish a novel, but every time I get close to the end, either I get bored, can't figure what else to write, or something "semi-traumatic" happens to my work that makes me lose heart... this has spilled over into other forms of my storytelling.

2) I am extremely happy to be engaged to Philip... and hope to get everything figured out and set up to marry him on April 4, 2009.

3) I believe that enjoying and partaking in fantasy is not evil or bad. I believe it is a quite fun release. So long as you are able to separate fantasy and reality, you shouldn't have a problem.

4) I am a compulsive beginner of projects... hardly ever to actually finish. Until I learned how to knit.

5) I plan to knit my own garter and veil. Both are 10% away from being completely finished. They were started within the months of July and August.

6) My company is in a bad financial situation, resulting in at least 3 employees quitting and moving on to different jobs.

7) I didn't care for John McCain as a candidate. I was a supporter of Fred Thompson earlier on. Now I'm actually excited to vote for McCain-Palin.

8) I never thought I would like anime or roleplaying games. I was wrong.

9) I've never been good at making friends, until I started dating Philip and met his friends.

10) I've always viewed being a good friend as not being afraid of telling them the truth whether they wished to hear it or not. This has gotten me into some quite uncomfortable situations that have eventually worked out for the best in the end.

And I tag:

bah, if anyone wants to do this, go ahead... I hate tagging folks

cross-posted to my blog.