28 November 2011

So I Might Be Depressed

Guess sometimes I float on by in life and don't even realize it. I mean, I'm more tired than normal, I go to bed later and sleep later, but I think that is partially because I'm slipping onto my husband's night-work sleep schedule. I go a week (a holiday week, but still a week) without being as good about my chores as I need to be, because I'm just... so tired for some reason. No excuse not to do my shit, but I guess I feel... complacent... lethargic... not really... caring.

I sign into my escape and it doesn't really feel like an escape. The people I spent time with are gone. At least that's how it feels. I know sometimes life happens and it takes people away from the fantasy realm. Real life is definitely more important than the life you live online. Just gets lonely sometimes. I stare at the guild roster and wonder where everyone went. I stare at the screen at a loss of what to do. I miss the friends I've made and can't be around as much anymore and I feel excluded or ignored by others who are around.

Sometimes. Always on the outside looking in. Too shy to push my own boundaries. Social anxiety is not limited to the real world.

I've not been "ditched." I'm not going to be. I just have to be patient. People will return... when the new games' shine wears off, when the next patch drops, or something. And if they don't... oh well.

Besides, I may be the one doing the disappearing. Maybe. Someday.

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