20 December 2011

New Start Blues

Why am I always terrified of new things? To the point where I'm nearly to tears at my new job. Again. This happened at JACER. I'm not entirely certain why it is. I feel a little queasy and really anxious. But I wonder if it's because I'm getting a hell of amount of passive aggressive attitude by the person who is supposed to train me... who I'm supposed to replace. Things are... real tense... and I'm just trying to take a deep breath and move right on. The other people I'm working with are really nice but right now I'm just a little flustered and... not entirely certain what to do with myself.

I have to wait for my Public Trust clearance before I can really get into the network and get in the system here at the GSA. At least I have access through the guest network and my company laptop.

The VRE is nice, except that there is no parking at all without permit at the Manassas Station. So I had to go to the Manassas Park Station. Where I caught nearly every single light, talked to by a motorcycle cop for going too fast in a school zone (Christmas present = just a warning), and missed the train I was supposed to take to get here on time. Thankfully everyone has been understanding so far... except for the person I'm supposed to replace.

Maybe after she's gone things will get better. So far I haven't learned anything and it looks like I have to do some self teaching cause she's too busy making a "notebook" for me. Maybe a delaying tactic so she doesn't have to go? I don't know.

I think the commute might be alright. May end up grabbing a SmartPass for Metro to have the backup taking the metro over one stop so if it rains I don't have to walk 15 to 20 minutes in the rain. But we will see. I probably should look into a new umbrella for those days and have a pair of clean dry socks packed with me.

Guess I really need to keep myself focused. Stop panicing. Stop feeling ill to my stomach for some reason or another. I'm better than this. I can do this.

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