The crazy that was my old job in a way blew up in my face. It was quite irritating to say the least and left Philip and I both unemployed for a little more than a month, and for some reason VA Unemployment didn't send me any moneys.
But through divine intervention, luck, or something, both Philip and I found jobs and began work in them Tuesday of last week. It is too early for us to tell how well it's going to go, but we're both fairly certain that we will get out of the mess the crash and burn of the old job put us in.
My old company is in what the boss calls a "moth-ball state". He's desperately trying to find work for them... because there is no money to pay anyone. Honestly with how I felt the last few months at the company, I have no desire to go back even if it came back up. I've felt more welcome in this company as of the first day than I ever did within the last year of my employment at CRS. Boss blamed our problems on the toxic atmosphere in the company... where I believe most of that was created by him, but of course he refused to take responsibility for it. The CEO here at HCI instead, has no desire to end up in the same situation that CRS has... and everything seems much more positive here. Sure things are fast paced and busy... although I've not really been let into the actual crazy fray just yet... but this is definitely an improvement to the old place. Except the commute and hours... it's earlier, but the same commute. Because it is earlier it is actually not the same commute. So I have to learn the traffic patterns in a whole new and very frustrating way.
But in the end, things are looking up. Hopefully they will remain looking up.
Showing posts with label work. Show all posts
Showing posts with label work. Show all posts
07 June 2010
18 March 2010
Trying for Positive Thinking
It is difficult to maintain a positive thinking environment when you feel as if it is made out to be your fault that your company has not had business in the last 3 months due to the website change. I need to increase the search rating of the site, which hopefully will get the desired effect. This can be either very simple or very time consuming. I have a feeling it will be the latter.
But what I need to figure out is how not to feel attacked for the decisions that I've made in regards to the website. I've worked very hard on updating the information to suit the boss. He is even willing to take responsibility for allowing me to post it up without it being ready. He was just impatient for the new information to be put up. Well it's up, but what good does that do if no one is looking for us.
But really does a website make sales? Especially one such as ours? I think it is highly possible we have too much information (read box text) on the website without a very easy way of seeing what exactly the customers may want. I have done whatever it is that I could, but there is little I can do when the information that is provided to me is pretty much lots of large paragraphs as opposed to bullet points. What is it that customers really want though? I'm no marketing expert and apparently neither is my boss.
Maybe appealing to people's emotions or pity is not the way to grab sales. "We are at the end of the road" or "we may not make it next month" are not the most positive things to hear. How does that make us feel about our job security in this festering economy? Oh did I mention, I've never once heard him say anything to the employees about this. Only on the phone to old friends or potential customers.
But I thought last week's meetings were successful. I know he's been working hard to garner some sales. I don't see how my putting up a new layout and website was as catastrophic as he's making it out to be. But what do I know. I'm just the technical editor going above and beyond what I was originally hired for to attempt to make the website better.
In other news, I think I have allergies or a cold, but I am so glad the blizzards are gone and done (please no more... for a while... 100 years?) I've been looking into other employment, for example sending out 7 applications on Tuesday alone. I'm trying to remain positive. I'm trying to do what I can for my job. I'm trying not to get stressed out by everything.
Is it too much to ask for one week without feeling attacked for doing my job?
But what I need to figure out is how not to feel attacked for the decisions that I've made in regards to the website. I've worked very hard on updating the information to suit the boss. He is even willing to take responsibility for allowing me to post it up without it being ready. He was just impatient for the new information to be put up. Well it's up, but what good does that do if no one is looking for us.
But really does a website make sales? Especially one such as ours? I think it is highly possible we have too much information (read box text) on the website without a very easy way of seeing what exactly the customers may want. I have done whatever it is that I could, but there is little I can do when the information that is provided to me is pretty much lots of large paragraphs as opposed to bullet points. What is it that customers really want though? I'm no marketing expert and apparently neither is my boss.
Maybe appealing to people's emotions or pity is not the way to grab sales. "We are at the end of the road" or "we may not make it next month" are not the most positive things to hear. How does that make us feel about our job security in this festering economy? Oh did I mention, I've never once heard him say anything to the employees about this. Only on the phone to old friends or potential customers.
But I thought last week's meetings were successful. I know he's been working hard to garner some sales. I don't see how my putting up a new layout and website was as catastrophic as he's making it out to be. But what do I know. I'm just the technical editor going above and beyond what I was originally hired for to attempt to make the website better.
In other news, I think I have allergies or a cold, but I am so glad the blizzards are gone and done (please no more... for a while... 100 years?) I've been looking into other employment, for example sending out 7 applications on Tuesday alone. I'm trying to remain positive. I'm trying to do what I can for my job. I'm trying not to get stressed out by everything.
Is it too much to ask for one week without feeling attacked for doing my job?
03 March 2010
Take Initiative - but not that Initiative
I have worked very hard on this website. Is it all for nothing? It feels as if its my fault we have not gotten any new inquiries for our products, at least this is the impression I am getting from the boss figure. He rushed me to get the project up and done and updated, even though I had told him I had started a brand new layout from scratch. He told me when it was ready that it looked good and to go ahead and upload it.
And now he's talking about needing to probably put the old one up for these folowing reasons:
A browser that only 10-11% of the internet traffic even uses and is over 6 years old and Google themselves are phasing it out...
We have a site map and sheesh the code for a search page is complicated.
I've done the "keywords" thing in the code, but apparently that's not enough. We're (other guys and me) not even sure putting the old page will fix this problem.
Part of me wonders if my boss really only wants to undermine something I spent so much of my time perfecting. Perhaps that is not the case. I don't really know. What really peeves me off the most is that the meeting talking about the webpage was held without me... and I only found out about it walking by.
I really should document how this makes me feel for my therapist. It's really causing some "bad thoughts" that are not helping me at all.
And now he's talking about needing to probably put the old one up for these folowing reasons:
It doesn't work properly in IE6.
A browser that only 10-11% of the internet traffic even uses and is over 6 years old and Google themselves are phasing it out...
No "search page".
We have a site map and sheesh the code for a search page is complicated.
People cannot find our site on the first page of searching for one of our products.
I've done the "keywords" thing in the code, but apparently that's not enough. We're (other guys and me) not even sure putting the old page will fix this problem.
Part of me wonders if my boss really only wants to undermine something I spent so much of my time perfecting. Perhaps that is not the case. I don't really know. What really peeves me off the most is that the meeting talking about the webpage was held without me... and I only found out about it walking by.
I really should document how this makes me feel for my therapist. It's really causing some "bad thoughts" that are not helping me at all.
01 March 2010
Following Up
I survived this past week, barely, but I survived. Now to actually implement to myself that gaming should be a hobby not an addiction.
I sit here today while working on submitting a very late report thinking to myself, do I really not "follow things up" like my boss says I do. I'm not totally sure honestly. Sure I didn't follow up this particular thing, but it was late and I think there as a HUGE SNOWFALL between the last time he asked me to try to submit (only to find out I couldn't cause the CCR hadn't been fixed yet) and now. Perhaps no excuse.
So, I failed again. And it's taking me all I can to not wallow in my failure and just pick up and keep going. Not to mention my desire to actually work for a company that cannot afford to pay its employees is very low. But here I am scrambling to try to remember which document this is that I need to submit and get it submitted sooner rather than later.
Speaking of not being paid, I only got an advance check for this past month because we could not make payroll. Please don't ask me how this happened, I only look at what comes in and goes out, I do not get us loans or jobs. I have a theory that Snowmaggedon, Snowpocalypse, and Snowverkill may have had something to do with this, but that's all it is, a theory. Since learning this little fact, I have been working together my resume and looking around for other places to apply to.
Unfortunately there is another step that must be completed before i can submit a report. I probably should investigate what else needs to be done before we run into problems due to the late report, that was late because our CCR expired and I had no way of knowing it was going to expire, and then I didn't realize we could still submit the thingy even after it is late. I expect many more lectures over the one "failure" to occur and no thanking me for finishing that one thing that saved us over a million dollars. And people wonder why I get depressed sometimes.
I sit here today while working on submitting a very late report thinking to myself, do I really not "follow things up" like my boss says I do. I'm not totally sure honestly. Sure I didn't follow up this particular thing, but it was late and I think there as a HUGE SNOWFALL between the last time he asked me to try to submit (only to find out I couldn't cause the CCR hadn't been fixed yet) and now. Perhaps no excuse.
So, I failed again. And it's taking me all I can to not wallow in my failure and just pick up and keep going. Not to mention my desire to actually work for a company that cannot afford to pay its employees is very low. But here I am scrambling to try to remember which document this is that I need to submit and get it submitted sooner rather than later.
Speaking of not being paid, I only got an advance check for this past month because we could not make payroll. Please don't ask me how this happened, I only look at what comes in and goes out, I do not get us loans or jobs. I have a theory that Snowmaggedon, Snowpocalypse, and Snowverkill may have had something to do with this, but that's all it is, a theory. Since learning this little fact, I have been working together my resume and looking around for other places to apply to.
Unfortunately there is another step that must be completed before i can submit a report. I probably should investigate what else needs to be done before we run into problems due to the late report, that was late because our CCR expired and I had no way of knowing it was going to expire, and then I didn't realize we could still submit the thingy even after it is late. I expect many more lectures over the one "failure" to occur and no thanking me for finishing that one thing that saved us over a million dollars. And people wonder why I get depressed sometimes.
22 February 2010
Withdrawel Day One: Collecting My Thoughts
So... I need to take a break from my addiction, a game called Mabinogi. Even my friends there understood and are being supportive in any way they can. Guess this is evidence that I have a problem, that even they were worried and agreed that this was best.
It all started I think when the stress of my new position at work combined with the financial stress from after getting married. The "addiction" I have is based on, in my opinion, roleplaying games... multiplayer roleplaying games. What was a simple hobby became an addiction to a story being formulated by many participants. It became more important to me than chores, work, and even sometimes my husband. I did not even realize the downward spiral I had put myself in.
You see, I don't want to lose the hobby, the stress relief at the end of a long stressful day, but I do not want the addiction. I have chosen time and again hanging out on the game over hanging out with real life friends. I burnt out on my other stress relief method, knitting, some point after the wedding, because I had spent a long time working on things for it: my veil, my garter, and some gift bags for my girls. I forgoed most everything productive in real life for the sake of the game.
The stress at work was already pretty bad before I started having online chatrooms (talking with friends from my online games) open at work. My way of staving boredom, curing loneliness, and keeping myself sane became an even worse problem. But I'm not sure that is the only problem. Sure my boss is old-fashioned and does not get multitasking (nor does he probably see that I'm not the only one doing that, but since I don't have internet in my own office it's not as easy to be covert about) but I don't think the internet use is the only problem. This is because just this morning I hadn't even touched the internet computer for anything other than company email and he met me with hostility because he thought I hadn't done something that I actually had. Now part of that could be my fault because I might have forgotten to tell him that it was already done, but I had been working on normal day to day accounting in the office at the time.
My company has financial problems. I have no idea where payroll is coming from this month. He is stressed out and from my opinion he is looking for someone to blame: the government, the economy, me... opinions from some former employees was that we shouldn't even have taken on the 2 mil job that eventually screwed us, and put us in the hole with a large product that we have difficulty selling. I don't know whose fault it really is, but why does it have to be taken out on me, the technical editor who helped edit the proposal for that particular project back in the beginning of my time at the company (5 years ago) who has taken on the accounting job without accounting experience except for what I have had to learn on my own through experience.
I get it, the economy sucks and he's even admitted to taking advantage of us because of it. If Philip had a job and he could afford to, I'd leave. But he doesn't and we can't. So I feel trapped. I am not angry at Philip's lack of a job. I know he's tried and its difficult for entry level with this economy. But maybe I am angry but more so that I am angry because I don't want to be and it is out of my control. And there goes my downward spiral again.
And I have little to no desire to hang out with real friends lately. I'm not sure if this is new or if this is how it has always been. I don't like calling people and I normally don't really know what to do in a setting like that. That's Philip's strength, not mine. But they miss me. I don't even totally understand how I came to prefer online to real life. Perhaps the stress associated with work has reverted me to my college days... where I preferred online to real life because it was easier to meet people online or people I already knew than go out and meet new people, or I figured that everyone usually had something better to do than hang out with little ole me.
It all started I think when the stress of my new position at work combined with the financial stress from after getting married. The "addiction" I have is based on, in my opinion, roleplaying games... multiplayer roleplaying games. What was a simple hobby became an addiction to a story being formulated by many participants. It became more important to me than chores, work, and even sometimes my husband. I did not even realize the downward spiral I had put myself in.
You see, I don't want to lose the hobby, the stress relief at the end of a long stressful day, but I do not want the addiction. I have chosen time and again hanging out on the game over hanging out with real life friends. I burnt out on my other stress relief method, knitting, some point after the wedding, because I had spent a long time working on things for it: my veil, my garter, and some gift bags for my girls. I forgoed most everything productive in real life for the sake of the game.
The stress at work was already pretty bad before I started having online chatrooms (talking with friends from my online games) open at work. My way of staving boredom, curing loneliness, and keeping myself sane became an even worse problem. But I'm not sure that is the only problem. Sure my boss is old-fashioned and does not get multitasking (nor does he probably see that I'm not the only one doing that, but since I don't have internet in my own office it's not as easy to be covert about) but I don't think the internet use is the only problem. This is because just this morning I hadn't even touched the internet computer for anything other than company email and he met me with hostility because he thought I hadn't done something that I actually had. Now part of that could be my fault because I might have forgotten to tell him that it was already done, but I had been working on normal day to day accounting in the office at the time.
My company has financial problems. I have no idea where payroll is coming from this month. He is stressed out and from my opinion he is looking for someone to blame: the government, the economy, me... opinions from some former employees was that we shouldn't even have taken on the 2 mil job that eventually screwed us, and put us in the hole with a large product that we have difficulty selling. I don't know whose fault it really is, but why does it have to be taken out on me, the technical editor who helped edit the proposal for that particular project back in the beginning of my time at the company (5 years ago) who has taken on the accounting job without accounting experience except for what I have had to learn on my own through experience.
I get it, the economy sucks and he's even admitted to taking advantage of us because of it. If Philip had a job and he could afford to, I'd leave. But he doesn't and we can't. So I feel trapped. I am not angry at Philip's lack of a job. I know he's tried and its difficult for entry level with this economy. But maybe I am angry but more so that I am angry because I don't want to be and it is out of my control. And there goes my downward spiral again.
And I have little to no desire to hang out with real friends lately. I'm not sure if this is new or if this is how it has always been. I don't like calling people and I normally don't really know what to do in a setting like that. That's Philip's strength, not mine. But they miss me. I don't even totally understand how I came to prefer online to real life. Perhaps the stress associated with work has reverted me to my college days... where I preferred online to real life because it was easier to meet people online or people I already knew than go out and meet new people, or I figured that everyone usually had something better to do than hang out with little ole me.
24 November 2009
A work related rant
Yeah I realize it has been ages since I've written here. I'm a horrible blogger. But I twit! I'd link but I'm lazy and don't want to spend too much time working that out.
"You need to be more responsive" he tells me. After I just received and email that I just told him about before I even had a chance to take care of it. It's frustrating really because "i've never seen you be responsive" when I actually quite do it all the time. He doesn't pay attention or praise me when I do things right, he only bothers me when I do things wrong and sneak up on me and ask me what I'm doing when I'm just taking a break from working to browse a website. I mean, sheesh, everyone does it. Except him. Because to him, he only cares about work. He only wants people to be doing what benefits the company. He doesn't care about the comfort of his employees. He is fine with them "suffering" without things to help them do their job. He thinks it's just fine to talk down to them and treat them like they're children (even though he is older than all of us).
Yes I realize this "isn't college". I realize that I need to be doing work. There is such a thing as multitasking. I've been lonely and demoralized. I have a hard time working on what needs to be done when I don't feel as if I'm going to get any credit for it or it will probably be viewed as "okay" or "unacceptable". He tells me to do multiple things at once and gets irritated when the one thing that was more important that he didn't bother to tell me was more important wasn't done. Sometimes I can't keep up with is demand.
I am not innocent in this though. Sure I slack off at times. It just feels that when I do do a good job, it isn't recognized. If I'm proud of something it's ignored. I try. I seriously do. I could try harder. But... I don't have much motivation to do so.
"You need to be more responsive" he tells me. After I just received and email that I just told him about before I even had a chance to take care of it. It's frustrating really because "i've never seen you be responsive" when I actually quite do it all the time. He doesn't pay attention or praise me when I do things right, he only bothers me when I do things wrong and sneak up on me and ask me what I'm doing when I'm just taking a break from working to browse a website. I mean, sheesh, everyone does it. Except him. Because to him, he only cares about work. He only wants people to be doing what benefits the company. He doesn't care about the comfort of his employees. He is fine with them "suffering" without things to help them do their job. He thinks it's just fine to talk down to them and treat them like they're children (even though he is older than all of us).
Yes I realize this "isn't college". I realize that I need to be doing work. There is such a thing as multitasking. I've been lonely and demoralized. I have a hard time working on what needs to be done when I don't feel as if I'm going to get any credit for it or it will probably be viewed as "okay" or "unacceptable". He tells me to do multiple things at once and gets irritated when the one thing that was more important that he didn't bother to tell me was more important wasn't done. Sometimes I can't keep up with is demand.
I am not innocent in this though. Sure I slack off at times. It just feels that when I do do a good job, it isn't recognized. If I'm proud of something it's ignored. I try. I seriously do. I could try harder. But... I don't have much motivation to do so.
06 January 2009
New Year Blues
The beginning of this year is going to be extremely busy, with learning up on the accounting at work and learning to balance accounting stuff and technical editing. Also going to be busy because of wedding planning and getting everything needed together for the 4th of April. Afterwards, I hope the year slows down.
I have accomplished one thing already this year, although it's later than I had hoped. Philip's Sweater!
I'm especially proud of it and so far have received many compliments.
Another thing I did the beginning of the year was get rid of my domain and website, elvenprincess.com. I wasn't using it anymore and I just don't have time to manage that, a livejournal, a myspace, a facebook, and a blog. So I figured, I might as well cancel out of the one I had to pay for every three months. Sure I pay for my livejournal (i like my icons), but that's something I'm more likely to do something with.
But the accounting has the potential to murder me... I'm hoping it's not as bad as the last day was.
I have accomplished one thing already this year, although it's later than I had hoped. Philip's Sweater!
I'm especially proud of it and so far have received many compliments.Another thing I did the beginning of the year was get rid of my domain and website, elvenprincess.com. I wasn't using it anymore and I just don't have time to manage that, a livejournal, a myspace, a facebook, and a blog. So I figured, I might as well cancel out of the one I had to pay for every three months. Sure I pay for my livejournal (i like my icons), but that's something I'm more likely to do something with.
But the accounting has the potential to murder me... I'm hoping it's not as bad as the last day was.
15 December 2008
Christmas Knitting Blues
I'm so totally behind on my Christmas knitting this year. It's annoying. Then again, new responsibilities at work, wedding planning, and being generally a social bug, has put a lot of hampers in my plans. That and my determination to make Philip his first sweater (since I have the ring *read: shiney!) knocked out a huge amount of my time to pump through quickie projects that are usually the things I work on for Christmas presents. Hopefully it won't knock out the next birthday present time either, but we'll have to see.
The sweater has been put on hiatus even though it was his birthday present back on the 5th. Mainly because I goofed in a couple places and it has me frustrated. The new goal for the sweater is to be done before January 10th when I want him to wear it at SimTerra... despite my worry of the way the thing needs to be cleaned.
There is still much to be done and I think the stress is finally getting to me. I really dislike stress. :( But anyways, I have a lot of things I need to get done and not a lot of time to do it in. But the week is young and hopefully the bridesmaids dresses will finally be in and I will have at least one less thing to worry about when it comes to wedding planning.
Philip really needs to choose his mens though...
The sweater has been put on hiatus even though it was his birthday present back on the 5th. Mainly because I goofed in a couple places and it has me frustrated. The new goal for the sweater is to be done before January 10th when I want him to wear it at SimTerra... despite my worry of the way the thing needs to be cleaned.
There is still much to be done and I think the stress is finally getting to me. I really dislike stress. :( But anyways, I have a lot of things I need to get done and not a lot of time to do it in. But the week is young and hopefully the bridesmaids dresses will finally be in and I will have at least one less thing to worry about when it comes to wedding planning.
Philip really needs to choose his mens though...
30 November 2008
Interesting Irony
So apparently the government agency D.A.R.P.A. created the internet.
Well you wanna know how you submit a proposal to them?
By FedEx.
Well you wanna know how you submit a proposal to them?
By FedEx.
16 May 2008
Want
As I finally got around to reading the first book in The Dresden Files, Storm Front, I realized how difficult it really is to try to read a small paperback while trying to knit 4x4 ribbing on my Stargazer shirt. Browsing through my blog roll (and various news/commentary sites) as I am want to do (and knit while reading because sometimes just knitting at my desk without something else going on is just plain boring... I wish I could get some work... well, actually I don't really because "when it rains it pours" is how work comes by here), I found through Yarn Rambles a link to tools you can use if you are silly like me and multi-task reading and knitting because of some weird ADHD tendencies (it could also be the anti-anxiety meds making me more multi-tasking type, but I'm not complaining, I've got a lot of knitting done in the few months I've been on it and I've been a lot more relaxed).
But I keep digressing... I have determined I really would like OpenPage(tm) Book Holders to help me in my reading and knitting endevours. As it is May and my birthday is the end of the month (May 28... I will be at the old age of 26), I think I will hold off on purchasing things (so very difficult... I keep wandering into book stores and yarn stores and coming out with additions to my collection without trying to think of where I'm putting any of it...) until I get birthday money/presents.
I also highly recommend Yarn Harlot's newest book "Things I learned from Knitting... whether I wanted to or not." Had me laughing in Pizzarama while I was waiting for my lunch on Wednesday and I read some of it aloud to Philip to my own amusement. Unfortunately I felt encouraged by the book to spend more money on yarn like it's a good thing to do... and it's okay to start more and more projects while I have loads of things hanging out on the needles awaiting my love and attention... something I think he will be very unhappy about. He encourages me to buy only what I need and can store... unless we're in IKEA and I bring home along with my new EKTORP chair, a Drake and a fluffy black pillow with eyes and a tail. Yeah... well, my excuse is I'm more likely to use the yarn and store them than the fuzzies... the fuzzies I just give personalities and bury helpless visitors under while they're on my couch, also known as the MIMIC who devours everything (even a knitting needle from my very first set... I have not seen it since...).
But I keep digressing... I have determined I really would like OpenPage(tm) Book Holders to help me in my reading and knitting endevours. As it is May and my birthday is the end of the month (May 28... I will be at the old age of 26), I think I will hold off on purchasing things (so very difficult... I keep wandering into book stores and yarn stores and coming out with additions to my collection without trying to think of where I'm putting any of it...) until I get birthday money/presents.
I also highly recommend Yarn Harlot's newest book "Things I learned from Knitting... whether I wanted to or not." Had me laughing in Pizzarama while I was waiting for my lunch on Wednesday and I read some of it aloud to Philip to my own amusement. Unfortunately I felt encouraged by the book to spend more money on yarn like it's a good thing to do... and it's okay to start more and more projects while I have loads of things hanging out on the needles awaiting my love and attention... something I think he will be very unhappy about. He encourages me to buy only what I need and can store... unless we're in IKEA and I bring home along with my new EKTORP chair, a Drake and a fluffy black pillow with eyes and a tail. Yeah... well, my excuse is I'm more likely to use the yarn and store them than the fuzzies... the fuzzies I just give personalities and bury helpless visitors under while they're on my couch, also known as the MIMIC who devours everything (even a knitting needle from my very first set... I have not seen it since...).
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